In Brief
- A Spiritual Strength: Tolerance is not a sign of weakness, but a profound spiritual power that enables us to remain stable, peaceful and constructive during difficult times.
- The Four Steps to Peace: Cultivating tolerance involves a four-step process: holding your peace, planting positive thoughts, nurturing good wishes, and taking appropriate, compassionate action.
- Everyday Application: Small tests—such as someone cutting into a queue—provide the perfect opportunity to practise pausing, maintaining a calm demeanour and responding with empathy rather than indignation.
- Choosing Your Response: While reacting with irritation causes us to surrender our peace, practising tolerance empowers us to control our inner experience regardless of external circumstances.
- Rooted in Stability: Like a deeply rooted tree withstanding the wind, true strength is not about defeating others, but mastering your own reactions and preserving your inner peace.
In a world where people are often quick to react, tolerance can be an important power to maintain a cheerful lifestyle. It is the power to remain stable, peaceful and constructive in the face of difficulties and distress. While some may see this as a sign of weakness, the Brahma Kumaris teach that tolerance is one of the original powers of the soul, a spiritual capacity that enables us to face challenges, accommodate differences and maintain a positive outlook without being overwhelmed by external circumstances.
Four steps
The first step of tolerance is to hold the peace, to stay calm in the face of provocation or turmoil. It is the ability to hold our position inwardly, without impulsive reactions, until the situation becomes sufficiently stable to then consider what actions may be appropriate.
The second step is to plant the seeds of positive thoughts and good intentions towards the person or situation. If this step is managed well, it will lay the foundation for success with any follow-ups. One should continue to hold and resist the impulse for any quick responses. Take time to compose the self. Wait, and have an inner monologue until there is a buoyant frame of mind that would generate friendly feelings.
The third step is to nurture those seeds through good wishes and a compassionate aptitude. We cannot truly practise tolerance while secretly wishing others harm or harbouring ill will. Genuine tolerance requires us to maintain benevolent intentions. If there is disagreement with someone’s conduct, counter the tendency to judge the whole person on a single behaviour. By sustaining good wishes and positive feelings, we create an inner atmosphere in which the seeds of constructive thought have a greater opportunity to develop and blossom into beneficial actions.
The fourth step is to support the growth of those seeds of good wishes through appropriate action. When the time feels right and relationships are sufficiently calm and receptive, we may be able to speak with the person about the situation, offer constructive feedback or explore possible solutions together. Such a conversation is more likely to be fruitful when it arises from goodwill rather than irritation, blame or the desire to prove oneself right.
A small test
Consider a person standing in a queue who sees someone cut in ahead of them. It’s easy to imagine normal reactions motivated by indignation. But think of the same situation approached with tolerance. The affected person pauses, takes a breath and, while waiting a minute or two for the perpetrator to settle, looks for a positive angle while keeping a calm demeanour. Then, with a gentle voice, free of sarcasm, asks, “Can I help with anything, (you look a bit busy)?”
Then you may get an abrupt “No.” In which case, you let it go. The question, at the very least, allows everyone around to relax and take it down a notch. It’s enough in the moment. However, if the answer is longer, or the perpetrator later follows up with a comment, then a civil conversation can proceed. You are now in control and could use the opportunity to listen with empathy or add a positive note to the encounter.
If your question creates more heat than light, it signals the need to strengthen one’s sense of self-control for creating deeper calm and inner quiet. This will guarantee better morale the next time tolerance is required.
Even when the external circumstances are identical, the inner experience can be very different. When there is a reaction based on irritation, those who react surrender their peace. With tolerance, one can retain the power to choose a response. Everyday situations, big or small, provide opportunities to practise tolerance. The challenge is to be persistent, as repeated trials gradually increase the depth of our character.
Conclusion
The strength of a tree is demonstrated by remaining rooted while the wind passes. Similarly, a tolerant person is someone whose inner stability is strong enough to accommodate pressure without being broken, not someone who has no feelings or convictions. Through soul consciousness and meditation, we can gradually strengthen the inner core which is required to respond with wisdom.
Ultimately, the stronger person is not necessarily the one who can defeat an opponent or impose his will on others. It is the one with deep roots who can preserve his peace and master his own reactions.
