In Brief
- Spiritual & Mental Strength: The Brahma Kumaris define the ‘power to accommodate’ as the second power of the soul—the ability to absorb, adjust, and adapt to others without losing inner stability.
- Scientific Backing: Modern psychology echoes this concept through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and ‘perspective-taking,’ which studies show reduce stress, build psychological flexibility, and resolve conflict.
- Emotional Maturity: Accommodating others is not a compromise of principle, but a sign of inner security that allows us to govern our ego, respect differences, and maintain dignity.
We encounter situations daily that underline the rich variety of people and circumstances in our communities. If we insist that everything must conform to our preferences, there will be unnecessary tension, disappointment, and conflict. However, with the power to accommodate, we learn to accept differences, adjust ourselves where necessary, and make room for the variations in human nature.
The teachings of the Brahma Kumaris list the power to accommodate as the second power of the soul. It is the ability to absorb, adjust, and adapt without losing our inner stability. Just as a spacious house can provide shelter for many people, each with their own individual needs and habits, a generous mind can accommodate different personalities and perspectives without becoming disturbed. There is also scientific research supporting the concept of the power to accommodate, although researchers use different terminology.
Psychological flexibility and ACT
A 2024 review and meta-analysis by Jenna A. Macri and Ronald D. Rogge examined 67 studies involving 9,123 participants. It found that Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)—described as learning to accept and adjust—helped people reduce stress and develop greater psychological flexibility. Psychological flexibility involves experiencing difficult thoughts and feelings without automatically reacting to them; instead, one chooses behaviour that is consistent with one’s values.
A related concept in social psychology is labelled “perspective-taking.” In a 2008 study published in Psychological Science, Adam D. Galinsky and colleagues investigated perspective-taking and empathy in negotiations. Across three studies, the researchers found that perspective-taking helped participants discover and widen areas of agreement.
Meditation
Perspective-taking means trying to understand how another person sees a situation in order to respond more humanely. However, we need not accept every behaviour or allow other people’s negativity to pollute our minds. Through the practice of Raja Yoga meditation, we can cultivate the inner stability to remain calm while responding wisely to life’s changing circumstances. With this power, we become more flexible without losing our principles, more accepting without becoming passive, and more resilient without becoming hardened.
The garden
A teenager once visited a beautiful garden. He noticed that it contained a remarkable variety of plants: some grew tall and straight, others spread close to the ground, and still others climbed around supporting structures. Curious, he asked the gardener how he managed to keep so many different plants flourishing together.
The gardener smiled and led him to a young tree growing beside a stream. Its branches waved gently in the passing wind.
“Look carefully,” the gardener said. “The tree survives because it knows how to bend without losing its roots. If I forced every plant in the garden to grow in the same manner, most would struggle. Instead, I try to understand each plant and give it the space it needs.”
The youth understood that the gardener’s success depended not on forcing uniformity, but on respecting differences and adjusting his care accordingly.
Conclusion
Human relationships are much the same. We cannot expect everyone to think or behave in the same way. By accepting variety as a part of life, we reduce the fatigue of unnecessary resistance and face reality clearly. It then becomes easier to acknowledge and respect individuals so that each one feels seen and heard. We can be loving with juniors, friendly with equals, and respectful to those senior to us. Like the tree, we remain firmly rooted in our inner values while remaining flexible in our external responses.
While we often wish others would change, in fact, the most immediate influence we have is over our own attitude and behaviour. In a disagreement, for example, we may insist on having the last word because we feel that conceding is a sign of weakness. Yet sometimes a small adjustment in our approach can prevent a major conflict. We can listen longer, speak more gently, allow another person time to explain, or accept that there may be more than one reasonable way to complete a task.
Accommodation and adjustment are not necessarily compromises of principle; they are expressions of emotional maturity. A person who is secure in themselves does not need to defend every preference or prove every opinion. The ability to adjust demonstrates strength because it requires us to govern our ego and desire for control.
Genuflecting, extending a hand, or saying the first hello never killed anyone, even when it is not reciprocated. Being accommodating better allows us to hold our dignity amid life’s changing circumstances.
